So you wanna have a kid? Well, get ready to spend some cash. A whole lot of cash.

And I'm just talking about bringing that kid into the world.

Late last year, The Wife and I finally got around to having our first child. Our daughter Jessica arrived quite healthily (and loudly) the day before Thanksgiving, to be precise. Also − to be precise − it took about twelve hours of labor on The Wife's part to get Jessica out here. (And, I might add, she did it with no epidural, no drugs, no anesthetics. I always knew she was nuts.)

Now, I'm a guy. I'm not sure what it'd take to get me to do twelve hours of anything that seemed as genuinely unenjoyable as The Wife's labor was. But that's why God blessed moms down here with infinite patience and love, right?

Now if only he'd see fit to dole out infinite money to the dads like me, we'd have a good thing going.

I consider myself quite fortunate to work for an employer who provides group medical coverage and pays for a portion of it. (For the year 2002, our portion of the premiums was $266 per month. My employer paid $192 per month. That's for coverage for the two of us, with a $500 deductible per person per year. Honestly, I consider our personal costs to be very reasonable.) That said, after seeing all the pregnancy- and birth-related bills come across my desk the last few months, I can honestly say that I'm no longer surprised when I hear about how uninsured moms and dads can find themselves propelled toward bankruptcy simply by the onslaught of nuclear-powered medical expenses.

If you haven't had any kids — or had any kids lately — then you probably aren't familiar with the dollar amounts I'm talking about here. But keep reading, and you will be. At this point, I'd recommend sitting down. And maybe pouring yourself a good strong drink.

About half of The Wife's medical insurance deductible was met earlier in the year, so the expenses you see below comprise what came out of our pockets after the PPO medical insurance paid its portion. (And yes, we always use participating providers.) As for the circumstances and charges, the hospital stay was 2.5 days. The pregnancy checkups with our OB-Gyn were monthly for about 7 months, and then twice monthly for the remaining 2 months. There were two trips to the emergency room early in the pregnancy, the costs of which are included below. After that, we underwent weekly prenatal testing, the costs of which are also factored in here. How common expenses like these are, I don't know, but I bet it could also be a lot worse.

Amounts are listed in the order they hit my mailbox:

So there you have it. At least now you have an idea what having a child can get you into. Or, more appropriately, get out of you. (Going in, I honestly had no idea how much I'd be responsible for. The few people I asked gave me estimates that, quite frankly, were way off ... to the low side.) And I have a sneaky suspicion that as of today, January 25, 2003, I haven't seen the last bill from all this.

I don't know − somehow, after listing and tabulating all those dollars, paying twenty-five bucks for a can of formula every week or so really doesn't seem all that bad . . ..


Michael | January 25, 2003

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