Here's my question: Why are Americans so damn scared of reality? Why must EVERYTHING be presented with a glossy fictional star-studded wrapper?

And oh yeah: Can I have my hour back, please?

I'm sure I'm not the only financial blogger who tuned in (okay, tuned in AND also DVR'd) to ABC's primetime special Un-Broke this past Friday evening. I'd seen a few previews of the show, and listened to Mellody Hobson's run-down of it on Good Morning America.

The idea of using Hollywood types to promo "becoming un-broke" seemed moderately interesting to me initially ... but only moderately. Personal experience has taught me that anything so over-produced as would be required for display on American primetime TV programming is more likely than not to be utter crap.

Really: As a "broke as hell" American, I'm supposed to start my financial turnaround because I watched an hour-long plethora of overblown skits produced by the same network that brings me such life-changing as The Bachelorette and Here Come the Newlyweds?

Really, Ms. Hobson? I was supposed to buy in to that?

You cannot be serious.

Look: I like Samuel L. Jackson ("Mmmm, that IS a tasty burger."). He seems like a cool, commanding-presence sort of guy. If he were sitting at a plain wooden table, alone, speaking directly into a TV camera about what money means to him, what he's learned about it in his life, I'd listen. Intently. Jackson's personality is intense; he has a great "Now you listen to me!" pull, and I'm drawn to that. I'd listen to his thoughts on money, and you probably would, too, just because he'd likely kick both our asses if we didn't.

I WANT TRUTH. Though he's no investment advisor, I would actually WANT to hear Samuel L. Jackson speak TRUTHFULLY about money. I DON'T want to see him act out the part of a broke author who uses his on-camera opportunity to scold America into some sort of joyous financial turnaround. We have enough soap-operaish antics in our living rooms as it is.

And Christian Slater. He's okay, really. Well, he's okay as long as he's acting in TV shows and movies which DON'T involve him teaming up with Rosario Dawson and pretending to teach others about investments and 401(k) plans. (And being forced to show his abs to get even that far. Pathetic.)

And the Jonas Brothers tutoring us on stock-market indexes?

THE JONAS BROTHERS?

Are you freakin' kidding me?

If this is the sort of pandering mess that America needs to have smooshed in its face just to get it to even START to pay attention to how universally broke we really and truly are, then kids, we're in serious hurt. This country's best days are already behind it.

Well behind it.

To be fair, I was likely not the target audience for Un-Broke.. But was anyone impressed with this show AT ALL?

And when you heard the show was coming, did you even think you would be?

Labels: TV